“Spending your whole life with one person”, a mere thought, holds the capability to bring shivers throughout one’s body. Questions like, “Will we be able to cope up with each other?”, “Will he/she understand me?”, “What would he/she think of my likes/dislikes?”, “Would he/she be able to match my expectations from a partner?” and many more, starts haunting you from the moment you hear “Tere Liye Rishta Aaya hai (We’ve got a marriage proposal for you, something like that)”. Trust me, I know I’ve been through this First meeting stuff for Arrange marriage.
While most of the time we just nudge the proposal off for not being ready, there are also those moments when you get to sit down and hear about the family. Um, you know the further details! In no time, you find yourself getting ready to meet a girl/boy for arrange marriage. It might show a little resemblance towards some job interviews but mark my words “it’s harder”. I do not intend to scare anyone but yeah, Job interviews are “Easy”, easier than this at least. Well, obviously, meeting someone for the first time with the intention of finding your life-partner within, is not at all easy.
Anyway, despite having an awkwardness and anxiety, and excitement, certainly, you also might turn out to be confused about the questions you need to ask your “Maybe” future husband/wife. Considering which, here I am trying to guide you through some of the questions that you as a girl/boy can ask during the first arranged marriage meeting. I am not an expert, obviously, but “being through the situation” gives me some right to share the tips. So, let’s go.
1. How has the process been for you so far?
For starters, all you can aspire to is to make the situation more comfortable and the question is quite a glimpse into it. To be frank, my husband and I didn’t start with this, because we genuinely were confused and none of us thought of searching the internet for help. But looks like, having some tips would have been helpful, for it would not have left us all jumbled and chaotic about the questions we could have asked. So, you, my friend, go for it. It would definitely give the conversation a friendly start.
2. Are you ready for the Arrange marriage or being forced into it?
Well, this question is kinda an important one. Not only does it provide an idea about the person’s present state of mind, but also brings them to place some trust upon you. It basically soothes the conversation further.
3. How do you expect your partner to be?
It is one virtuous step to learn about the ‘life-partner’ expectations of a person you are meeting. So, bringing this question up would give both of you an idea about your compatibility while making it easy for you to decide on whether to respond with a yes or a no, to a proposal.
4. What are your future goals?
Future goals are for both the men and the women. Some career-oriented ladies do not intend to drop the job post marriage, which is perfectly fine, but unacceptable to most. Well, make sure to have a quick discussion on the topic so as to be clear about the scenario.
5. Tell me something about your hobbies?
Being one of the most basic questions, this one can lighten up the discussion making it more friendly. It brings you a chance to get to know the other person’s interests and also decide on whether you can cope up with it or not.
So, yeah, this is it. These are some good-going, rather important questions to start your conversation with. Nonetheless, there are many others like:
Are you comfortable with relocating to some other city/country?
Will you be able to manage in a joint family?
Do you love to travel?
Do you like to read? and more.
But, for your information, these questions are more of a situation-oriented one. For example, you would only be able to ask a question like “Will you be able to manage in a joint family?” this, if you have one. That’s understandable.
Whereas, the questions discussed above are valid for anyone and everyone. So go on, make a list and get yourself prepared for certainly one of the most important meetings. Good luck! 🙂
Have you ever experienced an arranged-marriage meeting? How was your experience? Is there a question you would like to add to the list shared above? If yes, then please do so in the comment section. I am all ears 🙂